


Only You're The One

by MinaLaVoisin



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: M/M, Slash, ZAY - Freeform, Zay is all rising, but i cant this ship is so wonderful and innocent and completely different, ga slash, ghost adventures slash, i mean yeah theres tension but OH THE FLUFF these two are fcking pure together, its all so fckin fluffy even for my victorian self guys, ok its mostly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinaLaVoisin/pseuds/MinaLaVoisin
Summary: SO... Jay and Ashley are no longer together and there may happen a few changes in Jays life, that make him realize the truth and... you will know, if you read this fic :)This is my Christmas gift to my dear girls from GAC family - Jane, Denise, Tessie - youre the greatest! I love you all so much and Im wishing you Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and with GA stuff filled New Year!ALSO, I want to gift this fic to TheYoungVeins, who was so kind and sweet about my Dangerous fic, thank you so much again <3 and asked me if I could possibly write a ZAY fic, so - here it is! I hope you will enjoy it. I enjoyed reading your Zay fic so much, its so wonderful. BY THE WAY - everyone reading this, go also read TheYoungVeins - Talk Me Down fic, you wont regret!I got inspired by the song from Lifehouse, Only You're The One, and I also wanted to do a ZAY vid for this fic, but guys, I dont have any time... :( I was writing this fic for 9 months, because I only had like 5 days in a month to write, oh, and in these 5 days, it was only like... 2 hours per day, so.... :( But Im gonna fix that soon with my new GAC crack vid, where a few ZAY moments will be offered XD #self-promotion XD
Relationships: Zak Bagans/Jay Wasley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	Only You're The One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goddess_of_time_and_magic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_of_time_and_magic/gifts), [Denise_F](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denise_F/gifts), [TheYoungVeins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYoungVeins/gifts).



> Oh my, those tag words XD

Now it actually has been _years_ since he broke up with Ashley. _No_ , its been years since she in fact broke up with him. Ashley didnt want to spend the rest of her life hunting demons and ghosts in the dark. He did. She wanted to have kids, he, on the other hand, wasnt able to imagine a life without the thrill of exploring haunted hospitals, without the fear, that was a part of being left alone in scary forests, without the joy of filming a world exciting evidence. And, mostly, without the crew, without his friends.

Jay was sitting in his living room, a glass of beer before him, thinking about his past and about his future. It didnt work with his wife for a long time, so he knew that they did a right thing when they got divorced. Still, he was sad. He was used to spend time with her, have fun, play videogames the whole night, cook together, watching horror movies and taking walks with their dog. 

Now he was all alone. And he hated that feeling. If he just would have someone to talk to...

Jay reached for his phone and called Billy, his best friend.  
"Hey, buddy, how are you?"  
"Im fine, Jay, have are you?"  
"Um... Billy?"  
"Yes?"  
"Would you mind to come over? For a moment?"  
"Id like to, but I need to get through some audio evidence. Im busy preparing EVPs for our next screaming room episode. But I can visit you tommorow."  
"Okay... thanks..."

Jay ended the call. Billy was still talking, probably asking Jay whats going on, but Jay just hung up. The next number he dialed was Aarons.

Aaron didnt even pick up the phone. _He is probably having fun with his new girlfriend_ , thought Jay bitterly, _painting or watching Disney movies or something._

Jay hesitated. He wanted to call Zak, but he just kept staring at his phone screen. Zak and him... yes, they were friends, but he was used to spend more time with Billy and Zak was more of Aarons friend. And... Jay knew that Zak doesnt see him this way, but he felt like a replacement for Nick. Only a cheap replacement. He spent most of the time at the base, watching the screens, than investigating, so, although Zak claimed that he is an important part of the crew, Jay still felt being left out a little. And, as everyone in the crew knew, Nick meant a lot to Zak in various ways, so... Jay was convinced that he will never take his place. It felt like Zak doesnt like him as much as he likes the others, especially not as much as he liked Nick. Jay spent a few moments thinking about Zak and his strange behaviour after Nick left. Then he remembered the moments when Zak caressed his hair while filming the screaming room episodes. Nowadays he started to behave more friendly, so maybe he could just give it a try...

Jay dialed Zaks number and the leader of their crew answered the phone immediately.

"Hi, Jay, whats up, bro?"  
"Nothing...?"  
"Nothing," repeated Zak suspiciously. "Then why are you calling me in the middle of the night, man?"  
"What?" Jay glanced at the clock on his wall. It was past midnight. He didnt realize that he was thinking about Zak being upset and all torn to pieces after Nick left for so long.  
"Im sorry, Zak, I didnt mean to bother you. Good night."  
Jay was about to hang up, but Zaks laughter stopped him from doing that.  
"Hey, stop being so diffident, Jay. I dont care about the time, Im used to being up late. Sometimes I just sleep during the day and Im awake at night. I guess the years of investigating after sunset affected me a little. So? Whats going on?"  
"Um... nothing, I just..."

Jay paused. He actually didnt know what to say. Zak never had a girlfriend, he just had _girl friends with benefits_ , the only women he ever loved was his dog Gracie and his mom, so Jay doubted that Zak could understand how terrible he feels without Ashley.

"Come on, Jay, tell uncle Zak whats going on."  
"I... I feel alone, Zak."  
"Alone?"  
"Yeah... alone. It... Its hard for me since Ashley left."  
"Jay... Its a long time, you need to finally get over this," sighed Zak.  
"Yes, I know its a long time. But it feels getting harder and harder... I just... I just wanted to talk to someone, you know...?"  
"And you called _me_?" asked Zak in disbelief.  
"Yeah..." answered Jay, keeping the fact, that he tried to call Billy and Aaron first, for himself.  
"Alright then..." said Zak slowly, like as if he wouldnt be able to process that. "So... what about a late night dinner? Or a coffe? Im actually craving some good vegan snack, what about meeting at MadHouse? If you wont rather sleep of course..."  
"Okay," said Jay simply.  
"Great! Ill be wiating for you there! See ya, Jay!"  
"See ya," answered Jay to the black phone screen. Zak hung up and didnt wait for Jay to say bye.

Jay couldnt believe that Zak offered him a meeting, especially in the middle of the night. He considered it as more than weird, but he was glad that someone doesnt mind to spend time with him. And Zak wasnt a bad person after all, he was just crazy and had his freaky mood swings sometimes, especially after Nick left.  
_Yes, it definitely hurted him in some bad way, when Nick decided to leave_ , thought Jay and stood up from the couch to himself for going out to town.

\-------

He was already fully clothed, had his shoes on and the last thing he needed to do was to open the door and get out, but he paused for a while, looking at his reflection in the mirror.  
Is it really a good idea? After all, Zak might be the reason that made Ashley leave... Jay remembered her standing in the same spot as he was now, packed suit cases next to her.  
"Im not gonna leave the crew, Ash," said he back then. "Im not gonna leave Zak and..."  
"Oh God, its here again," interrupted him Ashley and her skiny arms angrily flew up, covering her face with her tiny hands.  
"Zak this and Zak that... Zak said, Zak did, Zad thought... Just go and marry _him_ , if you love him so much!"  
"What the hell are you saying, Ash? I love you!"  
"Yeah? Then why are you blushing?"  
"Im not blushing!"  
"Youre not? Look at your face!"  
Jay turned to the mirror and... yes, she was right. Soft pink was coloring his cheeks.  
"You love me, huh?" continued Ashley. "You know what love means? That means that sometimes youre gonna sacrifice something you think you cant live without, because being without the person you claim to love would break you! But no, youre not gonna leave the crew, youre not gonna leave Zak. You will rather live your life without me than without _him_. You chose whom youre gonna sacrifice. And its not him. That means living without him would break you. He is obviously more important to you than I am. So... I wish you luck, Jay. Goodbye."

And so Ashley left. She left Jay standing in the hallway, confused, still staring in the mirror, wondering where the blush on his cheeks came from.

Jay shook his head to get rid of those painful memories and headed to the town to meet his friend.

\------

Zak was already waiting inside the cafeteria, a cup of coffee and a slice of vegan cake in front of him. He smiled, when Jay entered and welcomed him with a big grin, telling him to order something. Jay silently sat down and took the menu. He was reading it over and over again, while Zak was piercing him with his dark blue eyes.  
"Not sure what you would like to eat?" asked he, when Jay remained hidden behind the menu.  
"Um... no, Im not," replied Jay.  
Zak waived at the waitress.  
"Bring my friend an orange flavoured coffee with caramel and some carrot cake with pumpkin spiced icing, please. Its delicious, dont worry," turned he to Jay, when the waitress disappeared.  
Jay couldn't help but notice the way the waitress was looking at Zak. Like as if he alone would be a slice of some tasty cake.

"So? Whats up, Jay?" tried Zak to start the conversation.  
"Um... well... I... I just..."  
"You said that you want to talk, so... lets talk. Tell me why you are so upset, buddy."  
Jay opened his mouth, but he felt like as if his head is empty. He didnt know what to say.  
"Well... Im... Im just kinda... Im just feeling sad and alone since Ashley left."  
"Did you tell her?"  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"I... I dont know, it... it would be weird."  
"I think you should call her and tell her. Maybe she feels the same."  
"Hm... But what if she doesnt?"  
"If she doesnt feel the same, nothing will change for you. Things are gonna stay the same."¨  
"Yeah, same, which means horrible."  
"Maybe horrible. But its gonna be the same, not worse."  
"You think so?"  
"Yeah. If you really love someone, then the love is worth fighting for."

Jay raised his eyebrows. He never heard Zak talking about loving someone. Zak never really opened up about his love life, so his relationships and feeling were a mystery for the crew.  
"So thats your advice? To fight for love?"  
"Yes, it is. I once fought for love, you know? It didnt exactly end well, but at least..." Zak paused and he made a face that clearly meant _oops, I said too much_.  
"At least what?" asked Jay.  
"At least... I found out how the things are going for me."  
"And? How did it end?"  
"How did it end?" repeated Zak Jays question and leaned back into the chair to make himself comfortable. "Its sunday, 2am and I am sitting in a cafeteria with you and not with my date. How do you think it ended?"  
"Oh," whispered Jay. "Im sorry."  
"You dont need to be, bro. Its past. Its behind me. Im fine now," said Zak and smiled brightly, but for some reason Jay didnt believe him a single word.  
"What... what was her name?" asked Jay and took a sip of his coffee. Zak was right. He never has an orange/caramel flavoured coffee, but it tasted great.  
" _Her_ name?"  
"Yeah, the girls name. The one you fought for her love."

Zak was staring at him and Jay felt scared that he might went too far by asking about the girls name, because Zaks face seemed to lose all of its color.  
"The name..." said Zak slowly, like as if he would be thinking about choosing the right one, because he cant remember it.  
"Its... Nicky."  
"Nicky?"  
"Yes, Nicky," said Zak quickly and showed a big piece of cake in his mouth.  
"Thats funny," laughed Jay.  
"Why?" asked Zak with his mouth full.  
"Well... when Nick left, you seemed to be devastated. And the only girl you ever seemed to love, at least thats how it sounds, is called the same way. I just thought that this coincidence is funny."

Zak almost choked on the cake and started to cough. He took a long sip of his coffee and then a few deep breaths, after he finally managed to swallow.  
"Are you alright, man?" asked Jay, worried.  
"Yeah, I am," responded Zak. "Ugh... I almost choked to death, bro..."  
"I saw that..."  
_But why?_ wanted Jay to ask, but he didnt. It was weird, that Zak reacted this way and Jay was curious, but he didnt want to put Zak in an awkward position by asking about that, especially because he knew that Zak doesnt like talking about Nick since he left. Like... at all. Never.  
"Alright then," said he instead, "so you think I should call Ashley and talk to her about my feelings..."  
"Yes, I think you should do that," nodded Zak.  
"Okay... I can try," promised Jay, but he actually didnt think that its a good idea. Talking to Ashley when he is trying to forget her, open old wounds... He promised Zak that he can try to talk to her, but he knew for sure that he wont do that. What would he tell her? That he misses her, but he didnt change his mind about leaving GAC? Isnt it pointless then? She would want him to leave the crew as a proof of his love and he isnt willing to do that. And now, when Zak seems to take him as a part of the crew finally? When he wants to know his opinion on investigations? No, no way. Jay heard Ashley in his head. _Just go and marry him if you love him so much!_ shouted her angry, shaking voice.  
"Jay... is everything okay?" asked Zak, reached across the table and held Jays hand in his palm.  
For some reason, Jays first thought was that this mans palm is incredibly soft and warm and it feels nice, how he is holding him.  
"For real, Jay," continued Zak, "you seem to... bro, I dont know, to be more than sad. But it isnt like... depressed. You just seem to be lost in your own thoughts. You dont think about doing some crazy shit like harm yourself, youre not, right?"  
"No, Im not, Im just..." sighed Jay and pulled his hand back from underneath Zaks. "Youre right, Zak, Im just lost in thoughts. Im thinking about what happened between me and Ash more and more often. Im thinking about what I did... well, in fact, I think about what _I didnt do_ to make her happy. Im thinking about what she said when she was leaving... It was quite confusing..."  
"And what did she say?" asked Zak curiously.  
"Nothing special," waved Jay his hand. "She was just mad that I dont want to leave the crew."  
"She wanted you to leave the crew?"  
"Yeah... after what happened on the Goatsman bridge, she was in complete shock and she decided to quit immediately. I was trying to convince her that things like these are just happening time from time and that shes gonna shake it off after a while, but no, she didnt want to listen. She didnt want a cleansing ritual, she didnt want to visit a priest, nothing, she just wanted to leave. And she told me that I should leave too, that Nick..." Jay paused for a while, because he noticed how Zak tensed all up when he said Nicks name, but then he went on. "She said that Nick did his best by leaving us. For himself and for his family. And that I should do the same."  
"What did you tell her?"  
"She was like _pick one - me or the crew. If youre gonna pick the crew, Im leaving without you_. I picked the crew. I picked you guys."  
"Oh, I see..." whispered Zak.  
"Isnt it weird? To pick a group of friends hunting for ghosts over the woman I loved?" asked Jay.  
"Maybe... But Im doing it all the time, you know?" said Zak and leaned back into the chair again. "And Aaron did it too when he was young. I dont know whats gonna happen when hes gonna marry his new girl, but... At least this time it seems that shes okay with what we are doing. We... we are caught too depp in this dark shit for us to just leave it all behind, Jay. Yes, we are. And Nick... apparently he wasnt. At least not as deep as I was caught in it," added Zak with an odd tone that made Jay question if he is still talking about hunting the ghosts.  
"He told me that he wants to protect his family. And then he started to do his own show. Im still not sure what was his real reason to leave," Zak lowered his head.  
"Zak? Are you... are you still sad that Nick left?"  
"No... Well... yes, I am, but I cant change his decision. You know, Nick... I still dont know why he did that, I mean... leave. If its really because of his family, then... I dont blame him. If its because of the new show, then... well, I guess he chose what he wanted the most. And, obviously, it wasnt me."  
_Us, you meant us_ , corrected Jay Zak in his head, but didnt say a word out loud. Right after, he heard Ash in his thoughts again: _You choose whom youre gonna sacrifice..._

"And what about Nicky?"  
"That person walked into my life and made it better somehow. I felt things that I didnt before. It was amazing, but... then... this person told me that we cant do this anymore. The same person that was telling me for years that leaving me would be the worst nightmare suddenly left. And I realized that what Ive been told the whole time were only lies. But I believed them. With all my heart."  
"Years?" wondered Jay. "How come that none of us knew that you have a love?"  
"Well... Nicky didnt want it to be official, because of the publicity and people around and the crew being famous. Well... Aaron and his girl, they dont mind to tell people its official. Same as with you and Ashley. You were a thing. Me and Nicky... we werent. Like I said, I loved Nicky with every part of me. I thought Nicky loves me the same way, you know?" Zak gave Jay a sad smile and his melancholic eyes were suddenly glistening with tears. Then he just lowered his stare. "I guess I was wrong."

Jay just kept staring at Zak, again, not knowing what to say. Zak seemed to be hurt deep and Jay couldnt think of anything to say that would make him feel better. After a while he just mindlessly said: "You can touch my hair if it will help you to stop thinking about it."  
Zak raised his stare and smiled brightly. He stood up, went around the table, stopped behind Jay and caressed his hair. Jays eyes flew wide open, because he didnt think that Zak will really do it.  
"Exactly as I said... You have the softest hair, Jay..." mumbled Zak and winded a strand of Jays hair on his finger.  
Jay just sat there, completely frozen.  
"I... uh... I should go, its late and..." started he to stutter, when he realized how weird it possibly looks to the other customers.  
"You didnt even eat your cake!" Zak pointed at the plate, when he went back to his seat.  
"Oh... yeah... but... I... I need to go, you know, to get some sleep and... Billy wants me to help him with some evidence tomorrow, so..."  
"I understand," waved Zak his hand, took a napkin, packed the cake in it and handed it to Jay. "Eat it for breakfast, after you get your beauty sleep, buddy."  
Jay reached into his pocket to get some money, but Zak stopped him.  
"Im paying."  
"Zak, you dont need to..."  
"I insist to pay. I invited you, so Im paying."  
Jay felt a little awkward, but Zak smiled again, so he just mumbled a quick thank you.  
"No problem, Jay."  
"And thanks for hearing me out."  
"Any time, bro."  
"It... It really helped me a lot to be able to tell you how I feel."  
"Im glad I could do this for you. If you want to, we can talk more often, okay?"  
"Okay... Thanks, Zak. Good night."  
"Good night."

Jay went out quickly, heading home, but for some reason he stopped outside and turned back to look at Zak, who was still sitting behind the table, obviously not going anywhere. Jay just stood there for good five minutes, his feet were like glued to the ground and he couldnt take his eyes off of Zak. How he was simply sitting there, a cup of coffee in his hand, staring into nowhere.  
_What is he thinking about? What is running through his head? How come that a mans hand can be so soft?_ thought Jay. _How come that his eyes are so dark blue and covered with a curtain of sadness, yet so bright, like as if they were filled with glimmering start? Oh my, what the heck am I thinking about?_

Jay finally managed to slowly lift his feet and go back home.

\-------

Days went by and Jay was still hiding inside of his house. Billy visited him twice and tried to convince him to get out and do something, but Jay wasnt in the mood, so he told Billy that he will rather stay at home, because he doesnt want to catch the coronavirus, which was a lie, but it prevented Billy from trying. Jay didnt tell him that he went out with Zak a few days ago. And, on top of that, he didnt tell anyone that from that night he somehow isnt able to get the image of Zak sitting alone in the cafeteria out of his head.

\-------

The crew was busy filming new episodes and the screaming room. Zak always choosed emotional episodes, but sometimes he chose episodes where a little funny moment could be found, like the Vicksburg one, where they investigated at a doll museum. Zak got so scared by a big Santa Claus figure and that scene made everyone laugh.  
"I didnt even know they had a Santa Claus there, I just see this dude staring at me," explained Zak why he got so scared.  
"Yeah!" laughed Aaron.  
"...and its fricking Santa Claus! Santa scared the..."  
"...the coal out of ya!" laughed Jay.  
"Santa scared the reindeer shit out of me..." said Zak and Aaron laughed.  
"That was stupid... my jokes are dumb," added Zak silently.  
"Yeah, dont use that one," turned Billy to him.

Billy seemed to be the only one in the crew who was allowed to make fun of Zak. Jay didnt know if its because he is the oldest or because he still didnt forget the moment when he was left alone at the Graber Olive farm, in any case, Jay felt like he needs to defend Zak a little.  
"I laughed," said he and smiled at Zak.

Zak really got better in these days. He was getting back to his old self, to this "old Zak", who was laughing, making jokes and funny things, but it wasnt like in the past. Yes, he wanted to have more fun, but still... he wasnt as "macho" and confident as in the old times, when Nick was a part of their crew. Whenever Zak made a joke, he almost immediately apologized for it or tried to explain why he did the joke or, which was the weirdest thing, he just lowered his head and said something about being stupid.Jay always thought that Zak is the most confident amongst them, but now he saw that Zak got insecure about himself and that he tries to behave different towards people.

"No one will hear it, dont worry," laughed Aaron, but Zak, instead of turning to Aaron, just kept smiling fondly at Jay, whispering an inaudible _thank you_ to him.

After the filming, Zak headed with Billy for some new equipment and Jay was left alone with Aaron. While packing their snacks and clothes, he just said:  
"Zak... he got better, right?"  
"What do you mean?" asked Aaron.  
"When Nick left... he was so sad, but... it seems that he is getting better now. At least thats how it seems to me. And he... he is acting different to the others."  
"Yeah, Zak really changed in these days," mumbled Aaron with his head down.  
"Im still thinking why did it hurt him so much when Nick left. Or maybe he was so sad because that girl broke up with him...?"  
"What girl?" asked Aaron, who got suddenly interested in the conversation.  
"The only girl Zak ever loved... Nicky... you dont know about her?"  
"Nicky?" raised Aaron his eyebrows. "Never heard about her."  
"You didnt? Zak told me that he loved a girl named Nicky and that she left him and..."  
"Hey, wait... are you sure about that?"  
"Yeah! He told me about her. I think she might left him at the same time when Nick left the crew."  
Aaron kept staring at Jay and then his eyes widened.  
"Oh my gosh, you DONT KNOW!"  
"What am I supposed to know?"  
"Zak never loved a woman, Jay. At least I dont know about any woman he would love. The only person he ever loved was..." Aaron lowered his voice to a whisper, although nobody was around. "He only loved one person and that person was... it was Nick, Jay."  
"What?" shouted Jay surprised.  
"You didnt know?"  
"No!"  
"Zak told me about it years ago. It was about three or two months before Nick left. I found him crying at the base and asked him whats going on and he just completely broke down and confessed to me about his feelings for Nick, saying that they are lovers and that they are hiding it because Nick is married, but Nick suddenly started to behave different. Zak was afraid that he is gonna leave and... and then it happened. And Billy heard them argue after filming the Zozo episode, when Nick told Zak that he no longer wants to be a part of our crew. Billy told me, that Zak yelled at Nick something like _you told me that living without me would be the worst nightmare! You claimed to love me! What happened, Nick? What did I do to you?_. Thats how Billy found out that something is going on between them. I thought he told you a long time ago! I never told anyone about it, Zak wanted me to keep it as a secret and I didnt want to ruin our friendship, so I kept silent. But... actually, sometimes it was pretty obvious. We were contemplating about it for a long time, long before Zak opened up to me. You never noticed anything?"  
"Zak told me that it was Nicky who said that living without him would be a nightmare..."  
"There is no _Nicky_ , Jay. Nickie was a form of Nicks name, its just how Zak used to call Nick when he thought that no one hears them."

Jay just listened to Aaron with his mouth open in surprise. Yes, there were a few hints about Zak and Nick being really close, closer than to anybody in the crew, but Jay didnt even think about it in _that_ way.

"That means that Zak is... gay?"  
"I dont know if hes gay... I would say that he is bi... but I know that the only one person he ever loved and had a real relationship with was Nick," explained Aaron. "Gay or straight, Nick wasnt a good choice for Zak."  
"Why?"  
"First of all," started Aaron to count on his fingers, "he was married. Thats a big NO. Second, Zak needs someone, who is calm, stable, someone, who will understand that he occasionally needs to fight his inner demons, whatever they are, and be there for him during those rough times, not leave him with a cheap excuse. Nick wasnt capable of any of that."  
"I thought that Nick left because of his family."  
"Yeah, thats what he told Zak. But I know the real reason. He just couldnt stand Zak being the main character of our show, being the leader. But Zak didnt choose to be our leader himself, it was Travel Channels choice. He was the most charismatic and outstanding of us three, so they did put him on this position. Nick often claimed that he is the founder of GAC, which isnt true. Zak is. He is the original founder of Ghost Adventures, it was his idea, not Nicks. But Nick... poor Zak was just a side-fuck for him, an opportunity to get known and famous. I think that Nick never really loved him, he just thought hes gonna manipulate Zak, so he will leave him the leadership. When it didnt happen, Nick secretly created his own show, which was a failure actually. They faked evidence, thats something that Zak was never willing to do. He rather filmed a boring episode than make up something thats not real. When Nick started to worry that our show is running out of exciting moments, Zak tried to find more dangerous places and we started to do scarier investigation, to keep our fans interested in our show. And Nick blamed Zak for putting us in danger, said that he wont do that to his family and left. Now... Zak is famous, he has a great show, a lot of fans, a haunted museum and Nick.... he has nothing. Nothing. Even his wife kicked him in the ass when she found out what piece of shit he is."  
"You seem to hate him..."  
"I do, actually. When he left, I thought GAC is going to end. Zak wasnt himself and I saw how bad its affecting him and our investigations. Nick made my best friend suffer and I just cant forgive him that. Zak is a good man, you know? Hes weird sometimes, but he has a big heart. Hes a great friend. And whenever we film an episode about people being possessed or oppressed by a dark entity, he really cares for the victims and tries his best to help them in any way possible. He rather drawns all of the demons to himself, only to make them leave the people and let them live in peace."

Jay just nodded. Thats exactly what he thought about Zak.

"Wait... why did you think that Zak dated a woman?"  
"He told me that he loved someone named Nicky a few weeks ago. We went out and..."  
"You two went out? Like on a date?" asked Aaron.  
"No! I just... I called Billy, because I felt alone and he was busy, so I tried to call you and you didnt pick up the phone... then I called Zak. We met in town and just talked about Ashley, because I felt bad about our breakup, she wanted me to leave the crew and I didnt do it for her and then... Why did you think that we were on a date, man? Oh... yeah, because you know that Zak is into men..." answered Jay his own question.  
"Zak... he doesnt even like me," said he then and lowered his head.  
"Why do you think he doesnt like you?"  
Jay just shrugged his shoulders.  
"He does like you, Jay. A lot. Actually a few days ago he suddenly told me _Jay is a good man and I like him a lot_."  
"Youre lying."  
"Well... he might have used different words, but the meaning is the same."  
"What did he say?"  
"He said _Ashley doesnt know what shes missing in Jay. He is a great guy and Im glad he didnt leave our crew. The one whos gonna gain Jays attention one day will be very, very lucky._."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah! I didnt know what is he talking about, well... now it makes a little more sense."  
"Zak told me that..."

"I told you what?" asked Zak who suddenly appeared behind Jay. He and Billy returned with hands full of new equipment. "What are you talking about?"  
"Nothing!" blushed Jay.  
"Just about the new investigation," smiled Aaron. "Jay was telling me about how you told him that its gonna be very dangerous."  
"Yeah, it will be a dark investigation, guys. We need to be prepared, anything can happen," said Zak and his eyes sparkled a little when he turned his stare to Jay.  
"Okay... so... I need to go, my girl is waiting for me. Disney night, guys! Thats something I cant say no to!" laughed Aaron.  
"Yeah, yeah, we get that..." Zak knitted his eyebrow and made a sour face, but then he smiled. "Have fun, buddy. And tell your girl we said hello."  
"I will. Bye, guys!" waved Aaron and dissapeared through the door. Billy was following him and Jay was about to do the same, but Zak stopped him.  
"Jay? I need to talk to you for a while," whispered he.  
Jay immediately felt scared that Zak heard what he and Aaron were really talking about.  
"Did you call Ashley?" asked Zak.  
Jay felt a stone fall down from his heart. _So thats what he wants to talk about, thank God_ , thought he.  
"No... I didnt..."  
"Why?"  
"Im sure that she would want me to leave the crew, Zak. Im convinced about that. And I wont do that. Never. Its... its gonna be better if I will let her go and forget about her."  
Zak placed his palm on Jays shoulder.  
"I dont want you to do something that makes you sad, Jay... If you would rather be with Ash than with us, I will understand..."  
"No! Never! I... I cant leave you... you guys! We are caught too deep, you remember? I wont leave you! No one will ever make me leave! Not even Ashley!"  
"Im happy that you are with us, Jay. We would be fucked a lot sometimes, if there wouldnt be you."  
"Really?"  
"Of course! Your knowledge of witchcraft is amazing! I know a lot about demons and stuff, but witchcraft... thats a spanish village for me, you know?" laughed Zak. "So... thank you. Thank you for being with us, Jay."  
Jay didnt know how to respond, so he just smiled.  
"I... I thought about how you said that Ashley didnt want a cleansing ritual after the Goatsman bridge and... I have an idea. What about you? Doing a cleansing ritual that helps you to forget her?"  
"I dont think a spell will fix it, Zak."  
"The spell doesnt need to work. Sometimes magic isnt about the outcome, sometimes its just about doing the ritual, saying the right words, about the... mindset. Do you understand what I mean?"  
"I think I do... you mean that if Im gonna do a ritual and say that Im not gonna miss her and that I will be better off without her... it will help me to get over it, even if the spell isnt really going to work...?"  
"Exactly!"  
"Hm... its an interesting idea, but I actually have no clue how to do such a ritual..."  
"I can help you, if you want," offered Zak.  
"Really?"  
"Of course! We can meet and talk about it and write it down... two heads are better than one."  
"Okay... sounds fun, actually, maybe its gonna help me a little," agreed Jay and took a little step back when he realized that Zaks hand is still resting on his shoulder. Zaks arm slowly fell down.  
"Okay," repeated Zak. "Im gonna call you tomorrow and were gonna set it up!"  
"Thank you, Zak... For everything."  
"No problem, Jay," smiled Zak and his eyes followed Jay as he was leaving.

Jay went to his car and turned around when he heard loud music coming from Zaks house. Behind the curtain, he could see Zaks shadow silhouette sit down on the couch and rest its head.

**Used used  
So tired of feeling used  
Waiting for somebody come and make me feel new  
Used used  
So damn tired of feeling used  
Waiting for somebody, is it you?**

**I hardened after the last one  
I been still tasting the poison  
Down the barrel of a gun**

**How do I tie up these loose ends  
I feel so jaded, so stupid  
All out of places to run **

**I’m still chasing wealth  
and I still hate myself  
sometimes, sometimes yeah  
sometimes, sometimes yeah**

**everytime that I get clean  
there’s something reminds me  
sometimes, sometimes yeah  
sometimes, sometimes yeah**

**And love you see  
wasn’t made for fools like me  
I had the right door, right door  
but the wrong key**

**Used used  
So tired of feeling used  
Waiting for somebody come and make me feel new  
Used used  
So damn tired of feeling used  
Waiting for somebody, is it you...?**

Jay was watching Zak, how he stood up again, turned the song off and dissapeared to another room. He stayed in the car silently for a moment, thinking about what Aaron told him, before he went back home.

\------

It was around 9pm when Jays phone rang and woke him up.  
"Wakey-wakey, sunshine!" laughed Zak and Jay couldnt help but laugh too, although he felt tired as hell.  
"Whats up, Jay? Got your beaty sleep?"  
"Not exactly... I could sleep longer, if _someone_ wouldnt wake me up."  
"Im sorry, but I need you to prepare for a ride, Aaron and Billy are already there with me. I know we had something planned, but things changed a little bit. We are gonna pick you up in an hour, is that ok with you?"  
"Would it change something, if Im gonna say that its not?"  
"Actually... no. So get ready! Pack some things for camping outside, were gonna film in the woods and were gonna stay there for a few days!"

Jay rolled out of the bed, not knowing what exactly Zak meant with camping outside, so he packed a tent, a warm blanket, some clothes, a little kerosene stove, some food... he was busy packing his equipment, when he heard a car parking outside.  
"Heeey! Jay! Were here!" yelled Zak from the car.  
Jay put his shoes on and went out.

The car was full of bags and his three friends were looking all happy and excited. The weather was hot and sunny and Jay was glad that he is wearing a cap on his head. He threw his bags on the pile of various stuff stacked in the back of the car and went on the backseat next to Aaron.  
"So? Ready?" asked Billy, but he didnt wait for Jay to answer and started the car.

\------

The forest was unbelievably beautiful. It didnt look scary at all, basking in the gold sunshine, but Jay knew that it can change quickly once the darkness falls upon the trees. The crew decided to spend the first day relaxing, taking walks around and just talk, sitting around the campfire. When the sun started to set, the guys packed out their tents, except for Zak.  
"You dont have a tent?" asked Billy and Zak just waved his hand.  
"No! Its hot enough. Im gonna sleep outside, watching the stars a little."  
Billy just shrugged his shoulders, dissapeared into his tent and so did Aaron, after telling "goodnight" to the guys.  
Jay was watching Zak, as he was lying down on his sleeping pad.  
"Are you sure about spending the night outside?"  
"Of course! Although I may seem like that, Im not sybaritic."  
"Okay..." sighed Jay and went to sleep.

It was around 3am, when Jay got awakened by some strange sounds from the outside. _Oh fuck, the ghosts are already making themselves known_ , thought he, grabbed a little camera he had next to him and opened his tent cautiously. He pointed the camera towards the darkness outside, but he was surprised to not catch a ghost rambling around. It was Zak.  
"Oh my god, bro, you scared me!" whispered Zak.  
"I scared you? You scared me, Zak! I thought a demon is about to kill us in our sleep! What are you doing?" asked Jay when he saw Zak walking around, jumping and rubbing his arms.  
"Um... Im a little cold, so..."  
Jay got his head out of the tent. Although it was a hot day, the night was way cooler. Zak was obviously regretting his choice of _sleeping under the stars_. Aaron and Billy had tents just for themselves. The only one who had a bigger tent, exactly for two, was Jay.  
"Come in, you dumbass," invited Jay Zak inside the tent, "what the hell were you thinking? That you will be able to spend the night under the stars just in a t-shirt?"  
"Yeah," laughed Zak silently, but his teeth were chattering. He was obviously freezing. "I guess I was wrong. Im obviously too old for this shit. Well... we arent getting younger..."  
Jay sighed and left Zak to crawl into his tent.  
"Do you at least have a sleeping bag or something?"  
"Just the sleeping pad. It seems that things changed from when I was young..."  
"Yeah, the world got different from when we were twenty."  
"And colder. I was counting on the global warming. Another wrong guess."  
Zak laid down next to Jay, turning his back to him. Jay closed his eyes, but Zak was so close, that he noticed him shaking from cold.  
_I could lend him my sweatshirt, but then we both will be dying from cold..._ thought Jay. He opened his eyes, turned his head to Zak and saw him being curled into a shaking ball and embracing himself with his bare arms. Jay touched his nape and before Zak could ask him what the heck is he doing, he threw his arm around Zak, embracing him from behind and put his blanket over both of them.  
"Um... Jay?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I dont want to sound... ungratefully, but... why are you hugging me?"  
"Human heat."  
"Human heat?"  
"Yes. According to science the best way to keep someone warm is to embrace them. Human body generates a lot of heat."  
"Oh... so this is... science..." giggled Zak a little.  
Jay knew that this is weird, but he had just two options - embrace Zak and help him get warm or let him laying there in the cold. Although it was as crazy as it could be, he chose the first option.  
"If its... uncomfortable..."  
"No, not really... I just never thought that something like this can happen."  
"Neither did I," admitted Jay.  
"Anyway, thanks for saving my ass from freezing to death," laughed Zak.  
"Yeah... speaking of that... I hope no ones gonna open my tent and see us... in this position," laughed Jay too. He didnt even notice when it happened, but he felt Zak suddenly being cuddled a little bit closer to him.  
"We would say _Science, guys! Never heard of human heat?_ " chuckled Zak. "Thank you, Jay. Really."  
"Now problem. Now... lets try to sleep. We have a lot of work tomorrow."  
"Yeah, thats right..." said Zak silently, his eyelids falling slowly down.  
Jay closed his eyes too and before he fell asleep, he felt Zak grab his hand he had over Zaks body with his palm. His brain wanted to think something about it, but his body was too tired to allow it, so he didnt move away and just fell asleep with Zak holding onto him.

\-------

Jay woke up with a weird feeling. He felt a strange heaviness on his chest and when he turned his head to find out what causes it, he couldnt believe his eyes. He was laying on his back and Zak was next to him, his head resting on Jays chest, his arm embracing Jays waist.  
"Oh... good morning," smiled Zak sleepily, when he got awaked by Jay moving.  
"Good morning..." said Jay, surprised.  
Zak got up and leaned on his arm.  
"Ashley doesnt know what she is missing in you, Jay. But I do. Screw her. Now you have me. And Im so lucky to love you."  
"I love you too," answered Jay, but then he realized what the hell just Zak told him and how _he replied_ to that. "Wait... what?"  
Jay blinked and all of sudden he saw the the inner top of his tent. It was all silent around him. Jay realized that none of this was real.  
_So it was a dream_ , thought he, _a strange dream..._  
Before he could start to think about why was he dreaming about such things, he looked around to find Zak and to his big surprise, Zak was resting with his head on Jays chest, his arm curled tight around him, exactly like he was in the dream. He was slowly breating in and out and smiling a little from his sleep. Jay carefully tried to wiggle out from under Zaks body, which caused Zak to wake up.  
"Oh god, Im... Im... Im so sorry, Jay!" apologized Zak when he found out about his sleeping position.  
"Im so sorry, I... I dont know how that happened," scratched he his head and squinted at Jay.  
Jay handed him his glasses.  
"Its ok... you looked like its... comfortable for you."  
Zak blushed hard. His cheeks were dark red, almost purple.  
"It was, actualy..." admitted Zak shyly. "I havent slept that good in ages."  
"At least you rested for once," laughed it Jay away.  
"Yeah, youre right," smiled Zak slightly. "I was able to rest for once... at last," and ran his fingers through his hair.  
Jay didnt say anything to that. He didnt know what to say. It was a weird, actually a little bit awkward moment for him. _Waking up in the arms of a man... well, that doesnt exactly happen everyday to me..._ watched Jay the flow of his thoughts. Suddenly, he got overflowed with a strange, unknown feeling. Jay couldnt tell, if the emotion feels good or bad, right or wrong, he just heard his thoughts, screaming _Why? Why do I think that he looks... cute? With his hair being all messy and sticking up? With his pink cheeks and that little smile? Why the hell am I thinking about stuff like that?_

"Im gonna check on the guys," said Zak all of sudden and got up and out of the tent. He turned around and showed only his head inside, smiling again, saying "Thank you for offering me a shelter tonight, Jay."  
Jay just waved at him, still being unable to talk, but Zak was already gone. Jay laid back down and closed his eyes. He wanted to analyze that whole _thing_ , but somehow he only fell asleep again.

After an hour of having odd dreams Jay woke up again. At the same time Zak was standing outside with Aaron, preparing the gear. He was taking pictures on his phone and Aaron looked over his shoulder.  
"Is something happening? Youre already sensing something paranormal?" whispered Aaron.  
"No, Im just taking pictures of our little camp, you know?"  
Aaron just nodded and bent down to stuff another walkie talkie in the bag already full of equipment. Zak was already taking a photo of Jays tent, when Jay got out only in his boxers and with a toothburush in his mouth. Both of them froze. Zak was staringt at Jay, who was almost naked and Jay was staring at Zak, who was aiming his phone at him.  
Aaron appeared behind Zak and laughed, calling Jay the _most paranormal thing_ he saw since he woke up and Zak quickly hid his phone into his pocket.  
"I didnt know you were here," said Jay like he would be apologizing and dissapeared back into his tent.  
Zak took out his phone and checked the last picture. He held his thumb over the "delete" button for a while, but then he just shrugged his shoulders and put his phone back into his pocket.

\------

From that day, Jay noticed that Zak changed his behaviour towards him even more. He was making more jokes and talked more often only with Jay and on top of that, during filming the "Camp fear" screaming room episode, he literally had a monologue about how great Jay is and how he thinks that Jay is one of the strongest people he ever got the chance to meet.  
Then, after filming a few regular episodes, the corona virus striked hard and the GAC wasnt able to visit new location, so they at least decided to film another screming room episodes. The crew was separated, sitting at home and Jay created a big online project. He sended the guys a bunch of cameras, which all of them placed in their rooms. He said that as a video tech he just cant allow to film on poor webcameras and that even at home it needs to be professional. He was the one who manipulated with the cameras and the whole setting and zooming and changing scenes, making it look so it was some type of skype phone call, which was a hard work to do, especially while watching a GAC episode to that and paying focus on both.

So now the crew was watching the Sallie House episode. It was a funny but also scary episode to watch. Billy and Aaron were out of their minds, when they found out that Zak isnt wearing any shoes and Jay probably isnt wearing any pants.

When the episode was over, the crew was about to say their goodbyes and Jay wanted to stop the recording. Zak said: "Alright guys, good work! Good work Jay, good work team..."  
"Thank you," said Jay automatically.  
"None of this would happen without Jay Wasley," continued Billy.  
"Aaaaaw," smiled Jay.  
Suddenly Zak spoke to the camera, saying: "Jay Wasley is... is my hero. I have a... picture of Jay above my bed."  
Jay laughed awkwardly, because the first thing that crushed his mind was Zak, taking a photo of him on that morning back then, when they on an investigation shared a night in Jays tent.  
_But no, Zak is just joking. Why would he even do that? He was joking, right? He was. Right?_  
"I do to! Which one do you have?" asked Billy.  
_Yeah, Billy went on with that joke, its ok..._  
"I cant say which one I have..." answered Zak with a shy smile. He seemed to be nervous and somehow shocked.  
Jay laughed even more, because he didnt know how to react.  
_Oh my God... so... does he really mean it or am I just being paranoic or what?_  
Jay quickly pressed the stop butting, cutting Aarons answer to that in half. The conection ended. After a second Jay got an incoming video call. The contacts name: Zak.  
Jay pressed the green button.  
"Hi again, Jay," smiled Zak. "I need to ask you something, can I?"  
"Um... of course."  
"Do I look weird?"¨  
"What?"  
"On the screen. During the filming I watched that little window with my face and... Oh my, I just looked like... I mean... do I look weird?"  
"Why do you think you look weird? Was the light wrong? Something in the camera setting?"  
"No... But my hair... I look horrible with that long hair."  
Jay laughed hard: "Your hair? Zak, I thought that we will have to record the whole episode again because of some issues in your camera setting. Your hair is good. You look good."  
"Really?" asked Zak silently, his head down, so Jay couldnt see his face because of the cap Zak was wearing.  
"I think you look handsome," said Jay. Immediately after he realized what he just said and his inner self asked him what the hell that just was.  
"Im ugly," mumbled Zak.  
"You look p..."

 _perfect_ , was about to slip from Jays tongue, and once again he realized what he was about to say. He cleared his throath.  
"Pretty Good. You look good."  
"Thank you," Zak raised his face. "Well... thanks. The filming was fun, you did a great job," changed Zak the conversation. "You really arent wearing your pants?" laughed he.  
"That was a joke. Same as when you said that thing with the picture, that was a joke, right? But thanks, I always wanted to be a superhero, so..."  
"I thought were no longer online when I said that you are my hero. I thought that no one hears me. And then I realized that Im still online and Billy just asked me so quickly what picture I have, so I was a little bit... surprised."  
"Oh," sighed Jay, and his inner self asked him teasingly, if it was more of a sigh of relief, or a little bit sad one. _But wait... why would he even say that joke thinking no one can hears him?_  
"But yeah, to me, you are a hero, Jay. You went through a lot, through things that people cant even imagine and you... you are still strong. As I said, you are the strongest person I know. Youre a great guy with a lot of knowledge. And youre awesome. Remember that. Goodnight," said Zak quickly and ended the call.  
Jay remained sitting in front of the dark screen for another ten minutes, contemplating about what Zak just said and about the fact that he never answered the question about Jays picture hanging above his bed.

\-----------

Before filming the House of Satan Screaming room, the crew was just talking about investigations they did, when all of sudden Billy asked: "Um... Zak? Did you really sleep outside when we were out in the woods?"  
Zak blushed hard and started to stutter, like always as he was too nervous, so Jay answered instead of him, revealing that he offered Zak the safety of his tent.  
"You were sleeping with Jay?" laughed Aaron.  
"So thats why I heard those rustling noises!" continued Billy with the joke. "Did you cuddle then?"  
Zak rolled his eyes.  
"No, I was just cold. Jay kept me warm," said he, clearly offended.  
"He kept you warm, oh..." smirked Billy. "Well... because when I went out in the night to take a piss I didnt see you, Zak, so I carefully opened Jays tent and I saw you two cuddled together..."  
Aarons jaw just dropped but then he started to laugh hard.  
"We were just using the human heat..." said Jay with his head down.  
"Human heat?" laughed Billy.  
"Yeah. Human heat. Its a medical term. Look it up," answered Zak with an angry voice. "Thats all. So, can you just forget that, Bill?"  
But Billy didnt. During filming the House of Satan, he just interrupted Zaks talk about goosebumps.  
"Goosebumps. When your hair stands up, youre detecting a static energy."  
"Or piloerection," blurted Billy.  
"A what?" asked Zak, thinking he just misheard what Billy said.  
"Thats what its called, when your hair stands up... piloerection! Look it up."  
Zak immediately knew that Billy is refering to their "human heat" conversation.  
"Uh... dont. Lets not!" shouted Zak.  
"I dont want to google that..." joined him Jay.  
"No, I dont... I dont want to google that..." said Zak, while the others were laughing, Aaron out loud, Jay just shyly, hoping that Billy wont continue. "Right, Jay?"  
"Thats the medical term for goosebumps," was Billy still talking.  
"Thanks, doctor," nodded Jay his head.  
"Lets just keep it as goosebumps," ended Zak the conversation but then he fought back: "Maybe you get the ladder when you sense the spirit, but we dont!"  
"Oh man..." shook Billy his head, leaving Jay and Zak and their "tent-adventure" topic alone.

\-----------

The guys were watching another episodes, filming scenes for the Screaming Room, using the time before filming another regular episodes and at that time, Jay experienced two weird situations. The first happened after filming the Screaming Room for Domes in Arizona and the second after filming the Screaming Room for Kay's Hollow.

The guys were done filming the Domes of Devil Worship, when Jay noticed that someone was still connected, so he opened the conversations window. Billy and Aaron were in the middle of talking about something.  
"Yeah, but dont tell me you didnt notice that too," sighed Aaron.  
"Of course I did," responded Billy nervously. "Hes... how Zas is talking to him, looking at him... I knew there is something going on."  
"Im so afraid Zaks gonna get hurt again, Bill," rubbed Aaron his forehead, "and Im scared that this time its gonna be worse than when... that thing with Nick happened, you know?"  
"What are you talking about, guys?" asked Jay.  
Nor Billy, nor Aaron replied. Jay checked his icon and found out that its grey, instead of green, so somehow he was able to witness what they two are talking about without being online. Apparently the guys didnt even know that he is listening to their conversation.  
"You think? I mean... he... he doesnt seem to give Zak any... hopes, you know what I mean?"  
"I do, but... Bill. Zak is into him. I can tell. I know how Zak is acting when he is into someone and this... this is 100% real. Whats gonna happen if this will go the wrong way? I just... Nick... yeah, we both know that he only used Zak, but at least... I dont want to say that Nick loved him, because Im sure he didnt..."  
"Well... Nick was married..." interrupted him Billy.  
"But at least he was giving him some kind of attention, so that means that he needed to be ok with being with a man, like... when it comes to the body, but this? Hes straight, man, thats way worse than... than that thing with Nick. He cant give Zak what he wants, what he needs and... if Zak will ever come out with his feelings, whats gonna happen then? I dont think hes gonna... Im afraid that this time... Zaks breakdown will be even worse and whats gonna happen then? Will it affect the investigations? Will Zak be able to continue? You remember how Zak wasnt able to film for weeks? And what happened afterwards? How he was choosing such dangerous locations? It could be the end of our crew!"  
"You think? Man, this is a bad situation... What are we gonna do?" asked Billy.  
"I... I dont know. Maybe... I can talk to Zak about it, but I dont think he will admit that hes got feelings for him."  
"And what about talking to _him_?"  
"Are you crazy, Bill? You mean like... reveal everything to him? No, thats... No way. I wont do that. Lets just... lets just observe that. Like as if we dont know about anything and were gonna hope that it will be ok. I dont think we can do more."  
"Yeah..." sighed Billy. "I think youre right. I hope its gonna be fine, maybe... maybe Zak will get over it soon, when he wont get any attention back."  
"Yeah, I hope so. Well... I need to go, Victoria cooked some vegetables and Im hungry as a wolf, so... see you later, Bill. And Bill... just... keep it to yourself, ok?"  
"Of course, Aaron, Im silent as a grave."  
"Ok, bye, Billy."  
"Bye, Aaron."

Jay watched them two end their conversation, still not sure about what or who they were talking. So, Zak... hes in love with _someone_. With someone, whos name wasnt revealed. Jay got a strange feeling whirling in his stomach. Was it fear? Fear of what actually? Jay shut the computer down and went to his living room and sat there in silence for hours, thinking about the conversation he just witnessed and about who could Zak be interested in and especially about the fact that he is for some reason highly nervous about that all.

The second situation happened after filming the Haunted Kay's Cross Screaming Room. Zak remained online with Jay, talking about new locations to investigate and about all of the demonic entities that are inhabiting them.  
"But its gonna be dangerous.. are you sure you wont run away?" winked Zak.  
"Im willing to face any kind of danger for your sake," responed Jay and Zak glanced at him through the camera quickly before turning his stare down.  
_Uh-oh_ , thought Jay, _what the hell did I just say?_ and the voice in his head once again took Ashleys form, said _See? I told ya! I told you and I was right! You love him! You wouldnt be saying such things as this if you wouldnt have feelings for him!_ and laughed triumphantly.  
"I mean... for the sake of evidence," corrected Jay his words and blushed.  
Zak smiled and he was staring into nowhere, as he said "Yeah... I feel the same." and without saying goodbye ended the conversation, leaving Jay confused again, same as he did many times in these days.

\-------

Finally, the time of investigating new, exciting places, came back. Zak sent Billy and Aaron to go together.  
"You said that youre going with us," complained Aaron.  
"Um... yeah, I did," nodded Zak his head, "but I changed my mind. You two and your emotions... Thats gonna be great. Lets see what the demon will do to scare you."  
Billy and Aaron exchanged a weird stare.  
"But you said..." tried it Aaron again, but Billy grabbed his arm and was dragging him away.  
"Lets just leave Zak and Jay here at nerve. Alone. Maybe the demon will decide to pay them a visit and were gonna be safe inside."  
Aaron turned to Billy, his eyes full of unspoken nervous questions, but Billy was already on his way inside the haunted house.  
Zak and Jay remained at the nerve.  
"You could go with them, Zak, I dont want Aaron to be mad at you," said Jay.  
"Oh, hes gonna be fine. I just... I just didnt want you to sit here alone the whole time," shrugged Zak his shoulder.  
"Then maybe all of us should have gone inside."  
"No... that would be too many people. I dont want the entity to get overwhelmed. Its better to do it in this way. These two are scaredy cats, its gonna be fun to watch them."  
"Thats so mean," laughed Jay.  
"Yeah, it is," laughed Zak too. "But thats just who I am. A mean, horrible person."  
"Well... maybe you are a little bit mean, but youre not horrible, Zak."  
"You think?"  
"Of course I do."  
Zak sighed and smiled sadly.  
"I do not. I am horrible."  
"Zak... what are you saying?"  
"You know... when I look in the mirror... and when I see my reflection... I see an evil, disgusting man."  
"Then maybe you need better glasses," laughed Jay, but when he looked at Zak, he realized, that he wasnt joking.  
"Thats not true, Zak, youre not like that."  
Zak just turned to Jay without saying anything, so Jay continued.  
"You... you arent evil. And you arent disgusting. Youre... you have a good heart. You behave so nice to animals and to kids. And to the people we meet while investigating. Youre always ready to help them, even if there is a chance that its gonna be dangerous for you. Thats... not what the most of people would do. And you are funny! I know that you dont think so, but you are! You cant take Billy serious, your jokes are not dumb. When it comes to me, they always make me laugh. I dont know why you have such a bad feeling about yourself. I mean... if there is someone who made you think these things about yourself... someone you believed... Maybe you just didnt met the right person to ask about his opinion on you. Me, for example... I like you the way you are. I like you in every way you are."  
Zak just kept staring at Jay silently.  
"What?" laughed Jay.¨  
"Oh, Jay... how come that you are so... kind? So affable? How come that you see me different than the others do?"  
"I dont know... I just... When I look into your eyes..."  
Jay cut his sentence in the half.  
"Tell me, what do you see?" Zak gingerly reached for Jays hand, but then he just caressed the back of his hand with his fingertips. "Please, tell me."  
Jay left out a deep breath. He wanted to tell Zak what he sees, but his inner voice, who once again appeared as Ashley, was repeating _I told you! I told you!_ and it was making him too nervous to continue.  
"Maybe you were right," said Zak all of sudden, "maybe I should go to check on the guys..."  
Zak stood up, but Jay grabbed his hand and made him sit back.  
"When I look into your eyes, Zak, I see... I see... stars. Fireflies. Sparkles of light. Its... its hard to put down in words. I dont know how to describe it. Its... its like a spell. Its... Its magic."  
For the first time the voice in Jays head just shut its mouth up. Maybe it was surprised about what Jay just said out loud. Jay himself was actually shocked.  
Zak smiled at him and caressed Jays shoulder.  
"Do you want to know what I see when I look into your eyes?"  
Jay nodded slowly.  
"I see... me. I see my reflection. And for the first time ever... I like what I see."

And with those words he stood up and dissapeared from the nerve.

\------

The crew was investigating the Painted Lady Brothel in New Mexico. Again, Zak was deciding whom he should send alone.  
"So, Aaron..."  
"No, dude, no! Me again?" Aaron held his head.  
"Ok, then... Bill..."  
"What? Me? Send Jay for once! Me and Aaron, we were alone too many times!"  
"Jay ivestigated by himself last time!" hissed Zak angrily at Billy."  
"So what? Isnt he able to do that twice in a row? We are doing it all the time!"

Zak turned to Jay with guilty eyes.  
"Its ok, Zak, I volunteer," smiled Jay.  
"Really?" Zak raised his eyebrows.  
"See? He doesnt have a problem with doing it," Billy left out a sigh of relief.  
"You dont have to do that, Jay," said Zak silently.  
"Zak, its fine, go with Aaron and Billy, Ill be ok, dont worry. See ya all when the morning comes, guys!"  
Jay grabbed his gear and went to room 3 to stay there the whole night.

The rest of the crew investigated the area with the SLS camera, capturing great evidence of a figure right in front of Zak. In the meantime, Jay captured a strange sound and the he became somehow overwhelmed and just laid down onto the bed. The guys had no idea of whats happening in the room 3 and went on investigating the home office room.  
Jay was laying on the bed a thoughts were flowing through his head. He felt worried and somehow sad, when he thought about the conversation between Billy and Aaron, as they two talked about Zak being in love with someone. _Who is it? Why didnt they mention the persons name? Damn, who can it be? And why am I so scared? Why am I feeling so weird when Im thinking about it?_  
Jay knew that it could be the entity or whatever is occupying this room just messing with his mind, on the other hand he also knew that these are his _own_ thoughts, probably just magnified, amplified by the power of the ghost, who could use Jays own sadness and pain to show him what it felt before being murdered. Jay tried to describe his feelings for the viewers, being really carefull to not tell about whats in his mind. He wanted to continue, but he felt so overwhelmed with sorrow and sad emotions, that he just put the camera down and laid there motionlessly. The only thing he managed to do was turn on his side and close his eyes in a desperate try to stop the tears from rollig down his face.

After conducting a paranormal puck session, Arron, Billy and Zak returned back to the nerve. Zak immediately noticed Jay laying on the bed and shaking with cry. He jumped up and just quickly said "Im gonna check on him" and ran to room 3 to see what happened. Billy was about to go with him, but Aaron stopped him.  
"Just dont, Bill. Let Zak go alone... See? You see what we have done? We tried to separate them two, but its not possible to do that all the time. And when were not investigating? We have no control over whats gonna happen, we arent able to do anything to stop Jay and Zak from meeting each other, so... lets just... lets leave this like it is. Whatever may happen, we should just let it happen. No matter what the consequences are."  
Billy sat back down on the chair next to Aaron and both of them were silently watching the monitors, waiting for whats gonna happen in room 3.  
In the meantime, Zak practically broke the door to get into room 3 and found Jay, still laying in the same position.  
"Hey... are you... is everything alright, Jay?" asked he.  
"Yeah... Im fine..." responded Jay.  
"Are you... crying?"  
"No, Im not," said Jay, hiding his face with the palms of his hands.  
Zak slowly got on the bed and kneeled behind Jays back.  
"Im... Im so sorry, Jay," said he silently and caressed Jays arm.  
"For what?" Jay turned his head to Zak, who immediately pulled his hand back.  
"For forcing you to go alone..."  
Jay turned back away from Zak.  
"Its ok, Zak. I volunteered. I dont want Billy and Aaron to be mad at you."  
"Screw them both... Or... maybe I should go alone and you three should have been investigating together..." thought Zak.  
"Its ok, Zak, I dont mind it... I... I know that... that Im not as good as Nick was. Im glad that I have the chance to investigate more often than I was earlier, although Im doing it alone," whispered Jay.  
"No. Thats not true, Jay, youre not right," said Zak with a steady voice, but then he completely broke down and lowered his head. A loud cry escaping his lips made Jay to snap out of his opressed state of mind. He turned back to Zak and sat up.  
"Huh? What isnt true?"  
"Jay... you... you are... Im so, so, so sorry, Jay!" cried Zak and threw himself around Jays neck.

Meanwhile, at nerve, Billy and Aaron were practically biting off on the monitor.

Jay almost collapsed under the weight of Zaks body, but he managed to keep his balance and wrapped his arms around Zaks chest.  
"Whats going on, Zak? Why are you crying?"  
"Im... I just want you to know that it isnt true. Youre not like Nick, thats true, but... you know what? Youre better than him, youre better than he ever was. Youre a better investigator, a better friend, youre better to me and I... I just want you to know that... Im... Im so happy that hes gone and we now have you as a part of our crew. Im glad that this all happened. Im glad that youre here. With me. Please... dont ever leave. Please, dont leave us. I know that Im a selfish bastard when it comes to investigating alone, but please, please, dont leave the crew. Dont leave me like Nick did."  
"Im not, Zak, dont worry. Who told you that Im about to leave?"  
Zak was shaking with silent tears for a moment, before he managed to answer Jays question.  
"Ashley did."  
"What?"  
"I... I called her a few days back, just to ask her about how shes doing, if everything is alright, if she doesnt need any help, you know? I was worried if something isnt following her, making her life bad, so I asked her about that and all of sudden she just said _You know what? Jays gonna leave the crew soon, because you are a dipshit and youre not taking him as a part of the crew and, believe me, I know hes gonna be pissed about that and hes gonna finally leave for good_."  
"Oh, no, no! Thats not true, Zak, I dont know why she told you that, but... Im not gonna leave, ever! Ok? Look at me, look at me..."  
Jay cupped Zaks face and made him to look in his eyes.  
"I will never leave you, ok? Ok? I will never leave, do you trust me?"  
Zak slowly nodded his head, looking like a sad, little boy.  
"If I have to choose whom Im gonna sacrifice... It wont be you. Its never gonna be you. I would rather see the whole world being on fire than leave you, ok?"  
"Ok..." calmed Zak down a little and Jay embraced him again. Zak leaned his head on Jays shoulder and closed his eyes. Jay was softly caressing his back and smiled.  
"How could you even think that I would leave? I couldnt leave you, Zak, I just... I could never do that. Dont worry. Im here, Im here with you, for you and I will forever be there, you dont need to worry about that, you understand?"

Billy and Aaron were staring at the monitors.  
"Is this... is this all real, Aaron? Or are we just watching television right now?" asked Billy, obviously shocked.  
Aaron punched Billy in his arm.  
"Ow!" cried Billy.  
"Did it hurt?" asked Aaron.  
"Of course it did, you moron!"  
"Well... then its real... I believe that now..."  
"Shh!" shushed him Billy. "Listen! Look!"

Both of them turned their stares back to the monitor, where they could see Zak, still laying in Jays arms in the dim green light of night vision cameras.  
"Zak... are you... are you in love with someone?" asked Jay all of sudden.  
Zak froze completely.  
"Why... why are you asking me that?"  
"I just... I just heard something."

"Oh my God..." Billy scratched his forehead. "He... Did he hear us talk about it back then?"  
"He wasnt online, he couldnt hear anything," tried Aaron to calm him down.

"Who told you that?" asked Zak.  
"Um... I just... overheard someone to say it..."  
"Well... I might be..." said Zak fuzzily.  
"And... who is it?"  
"Um..."  
"Do I know this person?"  
Zak wiggled out of Jays arms to look at him.  
"Yes, Jay, you do."

A few names crossed Jays mind. _Dakota? Josh Gates? Chad Lindberg? Chris Fleming? Fucking Post Malone?_

"Who is it?"  
"I... I cant tell you..." blushed Zak and stood up quickly. "Lets... lets go back to nerve and pack our gear."  
And, without saying anything else, he just ran out of the room.  
Jay was left alone. He didnt realize at that moment that the camera is still rolling.  
"Whoever it is... hes a lucky guy. I dont know why... how... I dont know when that happened and I might be crazy... but... damn... somehow... I wish it would be me."

Billy nearly passed out in front of the monitors. He needed to hold onto Aarons shoulder to not collapse to the ground.  
"Did I hear right? Aaron! For Gods sake, punch me again, because otherwise I wont be able to believe that what we just heard was real!"  
Aaron was about to give Billy another hit, when Zak appeared in the nerve and they both jumped up from their seat, quickly packing the walkie-talkies and pretending they arent paying attention to the monitor in front of them.

\-------

"Hello?"  
"Hi, Ash..."  
"Jay?!"  
Ashley was beyond surprised, when she heard her ex-husbands voice on the phone.  
"Yep, its me."  
"What do you want?" asked she with a cold voice.  
"I... I just wanted to ask you how you doing and... stuff."  
"How I am doing? Well... Im fine. Why are you asking me? We broke up peacefully, but that doesnt mean that we are friends."  
Awkward silence rose on the line.  
"And you? How are you doing?" asked Ashley after a while.  
"Im... good. Ashley?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Why did you tell Zak that I want to leave the crew?"  
"What?"  
"He told me that he called you and that you said that Im gonna leave the crew because he isnt behaving well to me."  
"Jay... that was like a year ago!"  
"Then why didnt he tell me until now?!"  
"I dont know. You know Zak, maybe he just saved this information for a moment when he thought it will be the best time to tell you and gain something out of it."  
"Ash? Do you regret that we broke up? I mean... at least... sometimes?"  
Ashley left out a loud sigh.  
"Sometimes... yes. But... we were... we _are_ too different, Jay. I regret that we divorced sometimes, but then I always remember that we did the best for ourselves. For both of us. I... me and you... we wanted different things, I wanted a family and you..."  
Another sigh.  
"And you just wanted to run through haunted forests and buildings. Family and ghosts, thats two things that will never work together. Why are you asking me about it, Jay?"  
"I... Sometimes... I feel like I have no one to talk to, you know?"  
"You have your friends."  
"I do, but... I mean... like... talk to someone you love, do you understand what I mean?"  
Ashley laughed.  
"Oh, Jay, you silly moron... you never loved me, who dont you just admit that? Now you are able to, were no longer together, theres no need to fake it anymore."  
"What do you mean, Ash? Of course I loved you!"  
"No, Jay, you always were in love with someone else and I always knew about that, I just... I hoped that time will change it. Obviously... it didnt."  
"Ash, I have no idea what you are talking about!"  
"Jay... for Gods sake... you are still lying to yourself? Even after all the time that passed?"  
"I dont know who the one I should have been in love, instead of being in love with you, is!"  
"Jay... admit it finally. Its Zak."  
"Zak? What the hell, Ash? Thats... thats not true!"  
"It is. It always was. I was there and I saw it all, do you remember? I was watching you looking at him, talking to him... He always was like a God to you. If you would have the chance to put him on a pedestal, give him a crown and declare him as your king, you would do that."  
Another long pause.  
"Jay?"  
"Yeah... Im here."  
"Could you finally admit that you always had... _a thing_ for Zak? Please?"  
"Well... I... Im..."  
"Yeah... I get what you want to say, Jay. You dont need to pretend anything, not with me. I know you, maybe better than you would think. Its Zak. It always has been him."  
"I... I dont know what to say..."  
"You dont need to say anything, not to me. Go and... and tell him. He deserves to know."  
"But Ash... Zak... he... he doesnt feel what I feel."  
"Oh, are you so sure about that? I saw a few episodes of Ghost Adventures and I would say something else."  
"Why?"  
"I dont know, I just have this feeling about you, him... and you two in general. Hes definitely into you."  
"What makes you say that?"  
"I have eyes, Jay. And... Im a woman. We are able to sense these kinds of things, you know? We are able to see through these games you men are playing."  
"So... you mean that..."  
"Yes, I do. Definitely."  
"So, what do you think I should do?"  
"Talk to him, Jay. Tell him whats hidden in your heart."  
"And if he doesnt... feel like I do? Then what?"  
"Well, thats the risk of telling the truth."  
"What if I tell him and it will result into the end of the crew? Or me leaving? Like... him telling me to leave?"  
"Hmmm... now you need to choose. Do you want to watch him, admire him from afar for the rest of your life or tell him the truth and finally be able to breathe?"  
"Maybe... maybe youre right, Ash."  
"Damn sure I am."  
"Ash?"  
"Yes?"  
"Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For... talking with me."  
"No problem, Jay," laughed Ashley. "You know what? I changed my mind. You were and you still are a great guy. Lets be friends, if you want to, ok?"  
"Ok..." sighed Jay in relief.  
"Now go and tell him. I wish you luck, Jay. I need to go now, I... I have a date, so I need to prepare myself a little."  
"You have a date? Who is it?"  
"Its a nice guy, hes living next door... Im gonna tell you more, if you want to. Call me anytime you want, ok?"  
"Ok."  
"Bye, Jay."  
"Bye, Ashley. And... thanks, again."  
"No problem."

Ashley hung up. Jay was hypnotizing the phone for a few minutes before dialing Zaks number.  
"Hey, Jay! Whats up?"  
"Hi... Zak, does your offer still stand?"  
"You mean... the ritual?"  
"Yeah."  
"Of course!"  
"I think that now... its time."  
"Alright! So lets do it!"  
"Ok... so where and when?"  
"Do you know where Diablo drive is? I recently bought a warehouse there, so... I think its gonna be a perfect place to hide there and do the ritual. Im gonna wait for you at Diablo drive 5175. Meet me there on friday at 9pm."  
"On friday? Why? Cant we just do it... sooner?"  
"Friday is a great day to do love related rituals, thats why."  
"Alright then... By the way... Diablo drive, is it haunted there?" laughed Jay.  
"Maybe, I dont know. I bought the place from a guy who was into hypnotism, he used to storage his books and pendulums and stuff like that there. Oh, wait, youre right! It might be haunted! He told me that a group of satanist worshipers was using that place before, so... It could be a little bit haunted. Why? Are you scared?"  
"No, I just thought that when its located on a place with such a devilish name, then... I just thought it would be a funny coincidence."  
"Well... were going to find out on friday, if thats ok with you?"

Jay didnt want to wait for so long - although it was just for three days - but he agreed.

"Its ok. Should I bring something with or..."  
"No, I already have everything prepared."  
"So... see you on friday..."  
"See ya, Jay!"

\------

Jay arrived at the location and Zak was already waiting for him outside the warehouse. He had a backpack and a large white paper box in his hands.  
"Hey... what do you got there?" Jay got out of his car and pointed at the box in Zaks hands.  
"Well... dinner. I assume that you know that spellwork takes some energy, so Ive got us some goodies to refill our energy after were done. Dont worry, its all vegan," added Zak, when he opened the box and saw Jays surprised stare, when he found out that the box is hidding two portions of spicy noodles and two slices of chocolate cake.  
"Cholocate and spicy things are the best for a fast energy refill."  
"Oh..." Jay didnt know what to say.  
He was actually nervous as hell and when Zak told him to follow him inside, he left out a deep breath.  
Inside of the warehouse, which wasnt that big, was a circle on the ground, created from tea candles of various colours. Inside the circle, there were three bigger white candles, the biggest standing in the middle. Next to the candles was an empty cup. Zak took a bottle of red wine out of his backpack and handed Jay a lighter and a paper.  
"Here... I wrote down the instructions. Now get into the circle," Zak checked his watches, "its time. Light all of the candles. Then you will blow them out counter-clockwise."  
Jay sat down in the middle of the circle and begun with the ritual.  
"So..." he cleared his throath before continuing.  
"Im blowing out this red candle - I wish to get rid off my desire for my ex-wife."  
Jay blew out the red candle.  
"Im blowing out this pink candle - I wish to get rid off my love for my ex-wife."  
Jay blew out the pink candle, thinking that he actually doesnt feel any desire or love for Ashley anymore, that he just wanted to be alone with Zak for a while, but he continued to read the words Zak wrote down for him.  
"Im blowing out this purple candle - I wish to get rid off the spiritual connection I have with my ex-wife. Im blowing out this blue candle - I wish to forget every word and thought I shared with my ex-wife. And finally, Im blowing out this black candle - I wish to broke the hold our relationship still has over me."  
Jay blew out the last candle.  
"Now you should light the white ones," suggested Zak.  
Jay lighted the white candle, standing near to the left side of the circle.  
"Im lighting this candle as a symbol of my new life."  
Then he moved to another white candle, standing near to the right side of the circle.  
"Im lighting this candle as a symbol of my heart being pure and untouched again."  
In the end, he moved to the white candle in the center of the circle.  
"And Im lighting this candle as a symbol of being prepared to let someone new into my life and into my heart."  
Jay lighted the last candle and, although he wasnt convinced that a ritual would change anything - and he was also convinced that there actually isnt anything to change anymore - he somehow felt relieved.  
Then he took a sip of the wine.  
"Im drinking this wine, which is red as blood, as a symbol of my own blood being purified of all negative thoughts, worries and memories of my relationship with my ex wife. So mote it be."  
The two men sat in silence for a while.  
"So? How do you feel? Better?" asked Zak and moved the box full of food to Jay.  
"Actually... yes. A little bit," smiled Jay and accepted Zaks unspoken offer to take something from the box.  
Zak reached for his portion too and the two of them immersed in silence again, just chewing on their cakes and noodles.  
Jay didnt know when it happened, but tears started to roll down his face. They werent sad tears, more of tears of... feeling strangely empty.  
"Are you still sad, because Ashley left you?" asked Zak cautiously after a while, but his sea blue eyes sparkled a little bit.  
"I dont know, man," sighed Jay, wipping the tears from his cheeks, "maybe Im just not used to be alone, you know? Maybe its not because of her, maybe Im just feeling lonely. And as the time flows..."  
_...the pain is just getting worse_ wanted Jay to say, but he didnt. The words just didnt make it from his heart all the way up to his tongue.  
"Oh, I see," said Zak silently.  
The candles around them were slowly burning out and the whole place was more and more consumed by darkness. Zak swallowed the last bite of his noodles.  
"And what about you? Arent you feeling lonely sometimes?" wanted Jay to know.  
"Me?" smiled Zak and his smile seemed to brighten up the dark room. "Nah, I have you guys. Who the hell needs women when youve got a bunch of dudes running their asses through the night, hunting ghosts and demon, right?"  
"Right," said Jay and felt awkward as never. Yeah, who the hell needs women, when theres this handsome man sitting right in front of you?  
_Do it,_ whispered the voice in his head. _You know you want to, what are you waiting for?_  
"What?" Zak raised his eyebrows as he caught Jay staring at him.  
"Nothing..."  
"No, I can see that there is something you are thinking about."  
"Im not."  
"Oh, come on, just tell me. If its something weird, I swear I wont tell anybody. Now, its just the two of us here. Well, except for a few evil entities," laughed Zak.  
_Its indeed something weird..._ thought Jay.  
"So? Whats on your mind?" Zak was curious.  
Jay blushed hard and he was glad that the night, creeping around them, is hiding it.  
"What is it?" asked Zak again, when Jay wasnt responding.  
"Tell me," said he and leaned closer. "If youre shy to tell it out loud, just whisper. I will listen."  
_Oh gosh, the smell of his perfume... now, as he got closer, I can recognize the scent of oranges, blueberries and vanilla... what a strange combination, yet it is so fascinating... His whole being is fascinating..._  
Jay moved closer to Zak, breathing in and out slowly, savouring the scent of Zaks cologne and his presence, enjoying the quiet moment, as he had Zak near. Enjoying the moment he was dreaming about for so long, but he was too scared to admit it.  
The last candle burned out and now it was pitch black, but Jay could still recognize Zaks silhoutte in front of him.  
_Do it, now its the best time,_ said the voice in his head again. Jay didnt think twice and he just did it.  
His lips found the right direction and pressed themselves on Zaks lips.

Jay could feel Zak tense up and freeze the second their lips touched. Zak was motionless the whole time, only his lips and after a while even his tongue reciprocated the kiss. When Jay broke their passionate, yet soft and gentle connection, Zak didnt move at all for a while, his lips slightly parted, his eyelids shut.  
When he finally was able to collect his thoughts, he looked at Jay like as if he is seeing him for the very first time.  
"What... what was that?" asked Jay, being surprised that he really did what he did.  
"I dont know, you tell me. You wre the one who first kiss... _you kissed me_!" stated Zak.  
"I... I know... Im sorry!" said Jay, stood up and ran outside the warehouse as quickly as possible.  
"No! Jay! Wait!" Zak was after him, but when he finally made it out of the warehouse, Jay was already in his car, driving away.

\-------

Jay came back home and landed straight on the couch, face down to the pillow.  
He was full of emotions, feelings and doubts, so he called the only person he could talk to about stuff like that - Ashley.  
"Ash... I did it..." said Jay instead of _Hello_ when Ashley answered the phone.  
"Oh my God, you finally told him that you love him?"  
"No... but I... I kissed him..."  
"YOU DID WHAT???"  
"I... I kissed him..."  
"No way! And? What did he do? What did he say?"  
"Nothing."  
"What do you mean by nothing?"  
"Well... nothing. He didnt have time to react, because... I ran away immediately after."  
"Why the fuck would you do that?"  
"I dont know! I sorta... panicked, you know?"  
"Gosh, thats so... _you_ , Jay! Youre able to face every ghost and demon in this world, but youre not able to handle the emotions your heart is..."  
"Hold on, Ash, I have a second call, someone is... oh, God... Its Zak."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah... Should I... pick it up?"  
"Of course, you dumbass! And then call me to let me know what he told you!"  
"Okay..."

\------

"So?? What did he say?"  
"He... he told me to come over to his place to talk."  
"Now? Its past midnight!"  
"I know..."  
"Wow... so he invited you to a date at his house!"  
"Well... Im not so sure about this being a date."  
"Why?"  
"He told me that we need to discuss... our future, like mine, to be specific, when it comes to us being next to each other on investigations... Like... my future with the GA crew."  
"Uh-oh, that really doesnt sound like a date... but... maybe you will come over and hes gonna have candles everywhere, a bottle of champagne and hes gonna tell you, that he loves you... maybe..."  
"Hm... I dont think so."  
"Try it, Jay."  
"Try what? What do you think I should do?"  
"You should go and meet him."  
"What if he tells me that I need to leave the crew?"  
"Then... then you will finally know how things are going for you. Just... go. Make things clear. Tell him whats on your mind. He may not love you back, but if he doesnt accept it, if hes gonna fire you, then Im gonna pay him a visit and kick his ass, I swear!"  
"Well... ok then... Ashley? Can I call you in the morning? To tell you what happened?"  
"Of course! I wish you luck, Jay. I hope things will work out for both of you."  
"Thank you... isnt it weird that we are talking about things like that? I mean... you being my ex?"  
"Well... it kinda is, but... thats life. Weirder stuff is happening between people, trust me."  
"Alright then... thanks, Ashley."  
"No problem. Now go and tell him. Maybe youre gonna be surprised in a good way."  
"Maybe. So... bye, Ash."  
"Bye, Jay. And if he wont be willing to listen, just kiss him again!"  
Jay laughed and ended the call. Then he just stood up from the couch again and went on his way to Zaks house to _make things finally clear_.

\-------

Jay arrived at Zaks house around 1am. He ringed the door bell, a nervous knot pulsing in his stomach. Zak opened the door, a shadow of confusement over his face.  
"So... youre here."  
"Yeah... Im here."  
Jay nervously stepped from one foot to the other and Zak rolled his eyes.  
"Come in, were not gonna talk between the door."  
Jay followed Zak inside, but stopped right behind the door. This time, Zak laughed.  
"Im not gonna talk to you in the hallway either, Jay. Come on, lets sit down and drink something good to help our tongues untwine and be... _more honest_."  
Jays heart skipped a beat, when Zak led him to his living room. Lit candles were everywhere around the place and on the coffee table, there was a bottle of champagne and two cups. _Oh, Ash, I hope you were right..._ thought Jay and sat down on the couch next to Zak, who poured the champagne and handed Jay his cup.  
"So?" asked Zak, when he took a sip of his fizzy drink.  
"So what?"  
"Well, are you gonna tell me why you... why you did what you did?"  
Jay shifted in his seat.  
"I... I dont know."  
"You dont know?"  
Jay blushed hard, not knowing what to say.  
"Ok... so... I see that it needs to be me who starts this conversation, so... let me tell you something. I... if you... well... gosh," Zak sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Im gonna be honest to you, Jay. I... I was in love just for once, you know? And only two people know who the one I loved was, my mom knows and Aaron knows. It was... It was Nick."  
Jay swallowed the urge to tell Zak that he already knows (and that Billy also does) and was trying to pretend that Zaks confession surprised him.  
"I know, I know," waved Zak his hand, "I never really... oh, that doesnt matter. But... Nick was right. We couldnt admit that we are dating, not only because he was married, but because both of us, the whole crew, has an... image, a reputation we couldnt spoil. So we never... told anybody. And now, according to what happened at my warehouse, we... Im... Im afraid that I... I cant give you what you possibly want or... need. Im afraid that Im not the one to... I... I just want to know why... why did you kiss me, Jay?"  
"I dont know, Zak, I just... I felt like doing that."  
"What?"  
"Thats the only answer I can give you, Zak, I didnt have a... reason to do that, I just felt like doing it, so... so I did."  
"Jay... tell me... do you... do you feel something towards me?"  
Jay was in doubt. What shoudl he do? Say _yes_ and risk his career as a ghost hunter or say _no_ and lie to the man he fell for? He took a long sip of his drink, emptying the whole cup at once, hoping it will help him to make his decision.  
"Im gonna be honest to you, Zak. I came to make things clear, so Im gonna tell you the truth. I... I think I do."  
Zak was staring at him for a long time, before he asked: "You... you really do?"  
"Yeah... Im... I dont know how that happened and Im sorry if its... if you wanted to hear something else, but... but I think I do. I really... I really do."  
Zak lowered his head.  
"Oh... well... I didnt expect that."  
"Neither did I. I never thought that..."  
"Jay... you asked me who is the person I fell in love with, do you remember?"  
"Yeah, and... Im sorry about that, I didnt want to embarrass you, I just... I overheard something and I was curious and I..."  
"Its you."  
"Huh?"  
"Its you, Jay."  
"WHAT???"  
Now it was Jay, hearing something he would never expect to hear.  
"Yeah... I... I always thought only about Nick. Every day, every night, the whole time. But one day, when I woke up... it was the day after we came home from investigating that forest where we... spent the night in your tent... I woke up and I had you on my mind. I wondered what you are doing and I couldnt wait to see you and then, when we met again, I just knew that... this is it. Nick was gone from my mind, from my heart and you... you took his place. And now... Oh my... why does this conversation feel so depressing? I mean... If I... _love you_... and if you... if... you..." started he to stutter.  
"Yeah, Zak," smiled Jay, "I love you too..."  
A wide grin grew on Zaks face.  
"Then... it actually means, that..."  
"That everything is ok. We actually dont have nothing to worry about, because we told each other the truth. And everything is ok."  
But Zak lowered his head again and the smile faded.  
"But, Jay... I am afraid. Im so... so scared. And I... Im afraid I cant..."  
"We dont need to tell anybody," whispered Jay, not really knowing about what Zak is worried, but feeling that Nick, althought in many other things he just wasnt right, when it comes to this, he was.  
"But we would need to hide and lie and..."  
"I know. But if its need to be done for having the chance of... of being with you, Im in."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes. Nick... he didnt treat you right. Right now I puzzled some things you told me about and some others I witnessed between you and Nick together and... he didnt deserve you. At all. And you didnt deserve the way he treated you. But I get you, and... him, on some point. Our show has many fans and we all, I mean, in our crew, we have our possinions. And we are a group of best friends, almost on brotherly level and everyone has... a history with women. And it could be risky to tell out loud that... something of that changed a little bit, I get it. And not only for us. We have responsibility to Billy and Aaron and the other guys too, I know. We cant do that... offical. Public. I know."  
Zak just sighed.  
"But I dont care. If... if you dont mind, of course," added Jay.  
"No. It never was important for me. I told Nick that it can be our secret, that I dont want to scream it out loud to the world, if he doesnt want to. As you probably know, he didnt want to. So we never said a thing. I... Of course I wanted everyone to know and him get divorced, but that was the selfish _me_ of mine. I knew very well that he cant leave his family, because he was a father. If it was just for Veronique, it may sound awfull, but... screw her. I thought about my own happiness, when it came to this, but... yeah, I knew its not possible, because he had a child and then a second one. I may seem ignorant and conceited and... I actually am, I think, but... I thought about his daughter and I knew that I couldnt do that, just because of her, so... Im not that bad, am I? Or am I really that selfish?"  
"No, Zak, youre not... why..."  
"Because thats what he told me. I knew... that we cant speak the truth also because of the fans, of the world outside our relationship and our crew. It could ruin us. But... I felt so bad about it, you know? So I told him. I told him that Im silent just because I dont want to hurt his child, but if it comes to Veronique, I would care about her, if he wouldnt have a daughter with her. And that I dont even care for the world. I didnt mean it the way it sounded, I just wanted him to know what Im feeling, I didnt want it to sound that mean, rather... lonely and desperate. And from that day he started to being suspicious, accused me that Im constantly trying to ruin his marriage and career with doing stupid ambiguous jokes and touching him in front of cameras. I wasnt. But if you love someone, is it really that bad to wanting to have the one you love for yourself?"  
"It isnt. Zak... again, I dont know what exactly he told you, but... you dont need to worry about anything. I get it. Everything."  
"I just didnt want you to think that I dont want to tell everybody, because I do..."  
"Me too. And I know we cant. And Im not mad on you about that, if thats what youre worried about. I dont care. If youre willing to do all this, although secretly, but together, then count me in."  
"You mean it?"  
"Yeah. I dont know how that happened, Zak, but you..." Jay blushed and giggled. "Im sorry, Im not used to say things like that and its... a little bit strange for me to talk in such way to a man, you know?" apologized he.  
"Its ok," smiled Zak. "Go on. Youre cute when youre shy."  
"So..."  
Zaks words were meant to encourage Jay, but he just blushed harder, and almost curled into a ball like a teenager whos about to talk to his crush for the first time.  
"So," started he again, "you... youre just... the one and only... Only youre the one... I mean..." Jay threw up his hands nervously.  
Zak laughed out loud.  
"Gosh... What was that? Im sorry, Zak, Im... so new to this..."  
"I get it, dont worry. But you dont need to be afraid. Will it help, if Im gonna say _I love you_ first?"  
Jay turned to look at Zak.  
"I love you too," said he with a silent voice.  
"And... will it help, if this time... its gonna be me who kisses you first?"  
Jay, whos inner voice was now practically dead, squeaking nonsenses in some strange fangirl-like language woke up for a second to tell him that he can just screw all of his shyness, actually somehow managed to do that and leaned closer, only a breath away from Zaks lips and whispered into them: "Try it..."  
Zak didnt wait and kissed him, slowly, carefully. When he looked into Jays eyes after then, he said: "Im new to this too, kinda..."  
"What do you mean? I thought that you..."  
"Im new to the feeling of loving someone and actually being loved back for real."  
Jay only smiled as a respond. Zak didnt need him to say anything. He was able to see everything Jay wanted to say in his eyes and kissed him again.  
"Does that mean... that we are dating?" asked Jay, again slapping himself in his mind for talking like a 13-years old boy, but Zak wasnt looking at him mockingly because of that.  
"If you want to?"  
"I would love to... and you?"  
"I would love it too."  
"Okay, so, we are..."  
"Dating. So... do you want to stay overnight?"  
Jay shivered a little bit and Zak immediately calmed him down: "We can just lie down and talk, we dont need to do... _stuff_."  
"But what if I want to do... _stuff_?"  
Zak raised his eyebrows in surprise. Jay only blinked with big eyes, overthinking what he just said and if it wasnt too fast, not because he actually wouldnt want to, but because he feels shy as never, and Zak smiled, noticing, as he did many times before, how long Jays eyelashes are and he didnt answer for a few second.  
"We can do whatever you want, of course. But... maybe we should just talk first, what do you think?"  
"Yeah," Jay nodded. "Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For being so patient with me."  
"We dont need to hurry. Lets just... be together, thats all," said Zak, pulling Jay closer for another kiss.  
Then he just led Jay to his bedroom and the two of them laid down on the bed, only talking and being close until the morning caught them sleeping, once again cuddled together, but this time without the need of thinking about excuses - just because both of them wanted to.


End file.
